ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER-----HILARIOUS!
This letter is a thing of beauty (even if the language is a bit rough)..
You definitely feel the guy's pain!
An actual letter to the passport office...
Dear sirs,
I'm
in the process of renewing my passport, and still
cannot believe
this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone
number and knows
that I bought a cable t.v. from them back in
1987, and yet, the Federal
Government is still asking me where I
was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do
this by hand? My birth date you have on my
social security card,
and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed
for
the past 30
years. It is on my health insurance card, my
driver's license,
on
the last eight damn passports I've had, on all
those stupid
cus tom s
declaration
forms I've had to fill out before being allowed
off the
plane
over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census
forms that are
done at election times.
Would
somebody please take note, once and for all, that my
mother's name
is
Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be
absolutely
astounded if that
ever changed between now and when I
die!!!!!!
I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning.
Between you an' me, I've
had enough of this bullshit! You send
the application to my house, then you
ask me for my fuckin'
address.
What is going on? You have a gang of
Neanderthal assholes workin' there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I
look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig
up
Yasser Arafat,
for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my
ass on a
sandy
beach.
And would someone please tell me, why
would you give a shit whether I plan
on visiting a farm in the
next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to
do
something weird
to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure
as hell not
want
to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go
to the other end of the city and
get another fuckin' copy of my
birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would
it be so complicated
to have all the services in the same spot to assist
in
the
issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooo, that'd be too
damn
easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us
running all over the
fuckin' place like chickens with our heads
cut off, then find some asshole
to confirm that it's really me on
the damn picture - you know,the one where
we're not allowed to
smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons) Hey,
you know
why we
can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
Signed
-
An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about
the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me?
Well, my family has been in this country
since
1776
.......I have served in the military for something over 30
years and have
had security clearances up the
yingyang........However, I have to get
someone'important' to
verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor
WHO
WAS BORN
AND RAISED IN INDIA !
Sincerely,
You Sure
In The Hell Should Know Who.
..................And we want
them to run our health
care?!?