Daily Joke

I would like to try some stimulus for the forums by enacting a "daily joke" thread. anyone contribute:


A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all
perish.
They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks
the first girl, ” Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male
organ?
She giggles and shyly replies, “Well, I once touched the head of one
with the tip of my finger.”
St. Peter says, ” Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and
pass through the gate.”
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, “Jennifer, have you
ever had any contact with a male organ?”
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, “Well, once I fondled and
stroked one.” St. Peter says, ” Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy
Water and pass through the gate.”
All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls.
One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches
the front
St.Peter says, “Reeva, What seems to be the rush?”
The girl replies, “If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I
want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it.”

ass in the water...
I thought someone would have to drink the whole bowl or something

HAHAHAHA love it !

A man go's to lunch by himself, and as soon as he sits down he pushes his spoon off the table on accident. The waiter hears the spoon drop and quickly walks by and pulls a clean spoon out of his apron and hands it to the man. The man is impressed by the quick action of the waiter and asks why he had a spoon in his apron, the water replied, there was a productivity company that came in about a week ago and did a study that found out the most dropped silverware in a restaurant is the spoon, so now everyone carries a spoon in their apron for such an occasion, it saves steps back to the kitchen, thus saving on labor. the man thought that was a great idea and then ordered. when the water brought the food to the man the man noticed a string hanging out below his apron and commented, "there is a string on you", the water then replied with a laugh, the same productivity company did another study that found out that employees spend a lot of time washing their hands after using the bathroom so we are saving time by tying a string around our weenies, so we can/ just grab the string and go! thus saving time and labor! The man thought this was strange but had a sweet tooth and ordered some icecream, as he ate his icecream he had to ask the waiter how he got his weenie back in his pants without touching it? the waiter replied that they didnt tell them that part so he just uses the spoon!

lol Ewwwww

One morning a woman was walking
out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man
at the
bottom of her garden.

"You're a goblin," she
says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the
goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's
your
first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I
want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK,
you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second
wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too."
"My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says
"OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you
have
to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what
it takes..."

Next morning the little
man wakes
the woman up.

"Tell me," says the
man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies

"Fuck me", says the
man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"

Lmao!!! i like jokes!

=[C]=Maj_Dick=[C]= wrote:

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a
ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and
demands her
to open the vault. She says "But sir, its just a
sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he
replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are
all the
sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples
and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm
samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back.
"That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse
drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man
takes off
his ski mask and it turns out to be her husband. he says, "See honey - that wasnt so hard was it?."

ROLFLMAO!!!

Does some funny shit...

Hey, i do that with Sixpack, i point hes head with my M16 in game and tell him, swallow it, you German puta...

so this is more of a quick prank that i pull on the new guys at work

so in the heat of the moment during the dinner rush when they are a bit frazzled anyway on the persons first day of work, I look at them and point with a great sence of ergency and yell


"Hey you, Go to the Walk in cooler and grab me a pint of PIDGEON MILK!!! and hurry"















usually takes them about 3-5 mins of looking to figure it out birds lay eggs and dont make milk!

LOLOLOLOLOL its a good icebreaker and a good way to set the tone of the workplace, because we like to have fun at work, it just makes it better.

Omg hahahahahahahaha that girl will never do anything sexual ever again.

I like the first one and the coke bottle one. I'm disappointed that pidgeons don't producd milk.

Dunpeal wrote:

I like the first one and the coke bottle one. I'm disappointed that pidgeons don't producd milk.

Yeah, you´re disappointed because you don´t have where to suck

=[C]=Bosse777=[C]= wrote:

A man go's to lunch by himself, and as soon as he sits down he pushes his spoon off the table on accident. The waiter hears the spoon drop and quickly walks by and pulls a clean spoon out of his apron and hands it to the man. The man is impressed by the quick action of the waiter and asks why he had a spoon in his apron, the water replied, there was a productivity company that came in about a week ago and did a study that found out the most dropped silverware in a restaurant is the spoon, so now everyone carries a spoon in their apron for such an occasion, it saves steps back to the kitchen, thus saving on labor. the man thought that was a great idea and then ordered. when the water brought the food to the man the man noticed a string hanging out below his apron and commented, "there is a string on you", the water then replied with a laugh, the same productivity company did another study that found out that employees spend a lot of time washing their hands after using the bathroom so we are saving time by tying a string around our weenies, so we can/ just grab the string and go! thus saving time and labor! The man thought this was strange but had a sweet tooth and ordered some icecream, as he ate his icecream he had to ask the waiter how he got his weenie back in his pants without touching it? the waiter replied that they didnt tell them that part so he just uses the spoon!

that is sooo fucked up.. u kno only retards would do that shit so i guess gorilla would fall under that catorgory